Never Argue with your inner critic

So much advice out there tells us to stand up and talk back to our inner critic. But how many times have you tried and found that the voice just gets stronger, and meaner?

There's a reason for that.

Your inner critic has a job to do. It's trying to protect you from getting hurt. It does this by making sure you stay small, don't get your hopes up, stay in your comfort zone and never do, say or even think anything that might open you up to attack.

Your inner critic takes this job very seriously and has likely been doing it for a very, very long time. If you try to argue back, you become the opponent and your inner critic has the home advantage. It has plays for days. You think you're being clever but it's three steps ahead of you already.

Because this is what your inner critic does all day long, every day. Don't try to beat it at it's own game.

Rather than arguing, trying acknowledging and appreciating. Your inner critic is working hard and, believe it or not, is really trying to protect you. So step back, step out of the part of your mind that feels hurt and try acknowledging the job your inner critic is doing and how hard they're working.

There's an art to this and it doesn't always come over night - but when it does, it completely changes the game. Just like your inner critic practices reps and drills all day, we also need to be understanding foundational truths and practicing basic skills that make this conversation effortless.

Your inner critic is a part of your mind. But you - the self - are not the mind. You are a spark of consciousness, unique, eternal and indivisible and you cannot factually be hurt by any of the things your mind is afraid of. Cultivating this awareness allows you to step out of the old loop of arguing with your inner critic and instead come from a place of deep safety and security to help your mind understand that it doesn't need to do it's old job anymore.

In resilience,
Caitlin