Have you ever caught yourself making excuses for why you "just don't have time to relax" and realized they're total BS?
We have time. Relaxing actually only takes a second.
The problem is...
We
don't
want to
The awkward truth is that when it comes down to it, we are resisting relaxing and using our crazy schedule as a smokescreen to justify our choices.
I often talk to people who feel guilty or ashamed when they realize that they're avoiding relaxing. But there are very, very good reasons why your system is doing what it's doing.
This isn't about shaming yourself into relaxing, or forcing yourself to stick to a self care routine. It's about getting curious about WHY your system isn't ready to relax and how you can resolve that resistance at the root.
So read on, and check if any of the three scenarios resonate with you.
1- You are not ready to relax yet
If you’re keeping yourself busy and avoiding slowing down, there’s usually a good reason!
When our system is on high alert, we need to burn off the stress hormones before we can relax.
Forcing ourselves to relax while we still have high levels of stress hormones in our system often results in agitation and anxiety
Instead of beating yourself up for being bad at relaxing, try getting curious about how your body wants to move - it might surprise you
2- You’re stuck in a time loop
When you don’t fully burn off the stress hormones from an overwhelming experience, your nervous system can get stuck in a time loop. It keeps responding as though you’re in an emergency, even when you’re not.
Sometimes we might even create emergencies in our life so that our nervous system response feels congruent.
Ultimately, the goal is to bring your nervous system into the present moment. But forcing yourself to “be in the moment” never works because
3- You’re getting flooded
Overwhelming experiences contain huge amounts of unprocessed sensory information. When we sit still, close our eyes and deep breathe, we can get flooded with all of that information backlog.
If you’re managing a big backlog, your system may keep you distracted so that you don’t have to process everything all at once.
If you have a meditation corner that you built with good intentions and have never sat in once, that’s likely what’s going on.
4-So what’s the answer?
Self-care routines that stick are ones that help us burn off accumulated stress hormones, learn to reliably get unstuck from time loops and slowly and steadily process the information backlog instead of dumping it all into your system at once.
If you want to learn how to cultivate natural and effortless relaxation instead of forcing a self care routine, we'll find your next best steps!
In resilience,
Caitlin