Living with anxiety can feel like a walking ball of contradictions.

Is this you?

• Relaxing makes me nervous

• I feel safe at home

• I need people but I can’t stand being around people.

Just remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and there is a way through the maze. This is what happens when we are at war with our nervous system. Our natural instinct is to relax and connect, but our nervous system is on high alert. The more we reach out, the more it wants to dig the trenches and bunker down. Facing this internal struggle, we might get frustrated and start dictating demands to our nervous system.

In this state, we often drive ourselves to take on more and more despite mounting anxiety and discomfort. Other times we give up and surrender to our nervous system, letting it set the terms for what we can and can’t do. We’ll often drop off the map for days or even weeks, giving in to the feeling of hopelessness of being in the trenches of an endless war.

I was stuck in the middle of this war for years. Eventually, I got sick and tired of the toll it was taking on my life. I realized that dictating demands to my nervous system wasn’t working. I needed to stop working against my nervous system and start working with it. I needed to slow down and start listening. The nervous system has its own way of operating and its own language. If we’re not familiar with the operating manual we can burn through years of our life feeling like we’re at war every day.